Strictly sleeping…..

The Queen and Prince Phillip…..

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter….

Kanye and Kim Kardashian….

Me and my husband…..

We’re all sleeping separately. And now it turns out the uber cool Baz Luhrmann and Catherine Martin are doing it too.

baz lurm

Who else wants to join this CHIC and SENSIBLE club?

(I do love the Saturday night hotel idea. might be getting a work out soon)

Advice for the modern couple….

If (as a single person enjoying all the luxuries of your own bed and bedroom) you have been lying awake in bed at night wondering what the Top 5 ‘turn offs’ and ‘favourite’ things to do in bed if you are about to share with a new partner…..

Wonder. No. More.

Ergoflex’s latest investigation into sleep habits of our UK friends looked at the sensitive subject of sharing a bed with a new partner, and the different ways in which sleep quality can be affected by this new arrangement.

And to assist those of us who are way too busy to read old fashioned and pesky sentences and paragraphs – here’s a great summary in chart form.

Ergoflex Bed Sharing Guide for New Relationships – An infographic by the team at Ergoflex Bed Sharing Guide

So… you have had a warning about green clouds of redolent gasses.

My advice. Fight for your own bed. And you still get to enjoy Favourites 1, 2 and 3.

How thoroughly modern.

Just trawling through the shared images out there in Internet land and am having great difficulty finding an image of a couple happily in their own room, but shown in the same image.

Dare I cry discrimination? Or grab a camera and start snapping myself?

EXCUSE ME Getty photographers, but could you please arrange to take a picture of a couple happily in their own rooms? Could you be clever enough to show that they are a couple, a happy couple, but sleeping separately?

(Not two people sitting in the same bed with one holding their head in their hands, or putting a pillow over their head, in despair of a partner disturbing their sleep)


And then email me when it’s done.

Thank you.


Feature in You Mag, Daily Mail….

And yet ANOTHER great article about separate sleeping to share.

This time it’s from the UK and features…………………………………..


And my aforementioned friend and co-author Dr Neil Stanley.

(And again…. when will a publisher see the light and sign us up??)

you mag

FiveThirtyEight is a polling aggregation website created by Nate Silver. Sometimes referred to as 538, the website takes its name from the number of electors in the United States electoral college.

While the site’s beginnings were focussed on political analysis, a post yesterday strayed into my fav subject – separate sleeping.

Written by Mona Chalabi, it’s a good article, with some interesting analysis from the survey pool.

And the article finishes with a great quote from my friend Neil Stanley (and soon to be co-author when publishers in the UK and USA realise what a gem of a manuscript they are being offered) about the ongoing confusion between sleep and sex.




Looks like reality is indeed keeping up with the Kardashians….. and our friendly Yeezus – Kanye West.

If one is to believe a certain weekly goss mag in Australia (Woman’s Day), it turns out that reality royals, Kim and Kanye can’t slip between the sheets each night because of snoring issues….. just like us MERE MORTALS.

One can but hope it’s true. Are they just like me??????

kim and kanye sleep

(PS…. Scott Disick and Kourtney apparently sleep separately too….. see all the cool kids do it!)

What price sleep?

I have always been clear that the main reason I sleep separately from my husband (and he from me) is that I simply CANNOT function when I don’t have enough sleep (nor he).

over tired


I have a fuzzy head.

I am unproductive.

I’m not pleasant company.


This fact alone has always been the singular driving force behind decisions I make about where and for how long I sleep. However, as I researched when writing my book, and  subsequently continued to read widely about sleep – I can say that I feel grateful (and just a smidgen smug) about the sleep-related decisions I have made over the years.

I feel especially grateful for the decision to prioritise sleep by choosing a separate bedroom rather than compromise my sleep by sleeping with my husband. And the reason for the gratefulness is that the health risks I may just be avoiding.

MUCH is written about the health consequences of sleep deprivation. This deprivation can be caused by many reasons – insomnia, illness, depression, life consequences, tending to young children.

Sleep deprivation can also come from sharing your bed with a partner who consistently disturbs and disrupts your sleep.

Two recent articles are worthy of note. While neither specifically talk about sleep disturbance by a partner, they both speak of recent research into the long-term effects of sleep deprivation.

It doesn’t matter how the deprivation occurs folks. If you are kept awake by a snoring or restless or environmentally disparate partner – you WILL suffer sleep deprivation.

After perusing these articles, I have a question for you.

not sleeping making brain smallerfragmented sleep banner

My question is ‘what is the real cost to your health if you are not having a good night’s sleep?’

PS  ‘Is it worth it?’


Ahhh…. the romance of sharing

I gave a recent story in The Atlantic only a cursory glance on publication as I was caught in the throes of busy work period. A few friends alerted me to the story, but I only re-read it this morning when another story linked to it and extrapolated on the key theme.

And it’s one of my favourites……


The message is subtle, but leaves readers with the clear message that the couple who snuggle and compromise through each night have a closer, more intimate relationship.

Joe Methven, the author of The Atlantic article, references scientists and relationship experts to support his theory that while he had a great night’s sleep on the couch by himself and felt better, it’s still better for his relationship to put up with the disturbances of a snoring, pregnant wife and child that kicks him because it means they are closer.

While Methven’s article presents a view that I find slightly biased (and I’m sure people may  similarly accuse me) it was the next article, discussing Methven’s, that irked me and pushed my inner cynic button.cynic button Continue reading

Forgot why sleep is so important?

Maybe it’s because you’re not getting enough.

A group of those scientists we love (because they spend their days working out answers to the big questions of life) have worked out how sleep causes memories to form.

It’s explained in this article called ‘Scientists have finally worked out how sleep causes memories to form’

memory forming

The bit to note particularly dear readers is:deep sleep quote

To summarise and extrapolate for you (in case you don’t have time to read the article)……..

  • Your memories form best when you are in deep sleep.
  • If you do not get enough deep sleep each night, you might find your memory is not as good as it could be.
  • If you are sharing a bed with someone who consistently wakes you during the night, you are probably not getting ENOUGH deep sleep.
  • You may need to do something about getting enough deep sleep, before you forget…. all the things you want to remember.


Don’t FORGET how important sleep is. Value it. Treasure it. Prioritise it.

Most importantly….. GET IT !!!

(And don’t forget what I’ve told you today.)