It really depends which parts need saving to be honest.
I would never suggest that separate sleeping is a cure all to relationship issues (for those married or otherwise), but it certainly can save your sanity if your partner disrupts your sleep and you are suffering as a result. And following that thought logically, if your sanity is saved because you are getting all the sleep you need to keep you healthy, then that could have some pretty darned good flow on effects to supporting a healthy relationship.
(Was I too hasty to dismiss the claim?)
An interesting story ran on the American ABC channel about a couple who have chosen the path of separate sleeping. What I found particularly interesting (because sleeping separately is just a sensible decision) was the line in the title that said their choice ‘protected each other’s solitude’.
Having been on the end of quite a few accusations of selfishness due to my solo sleeping choice, I liked the view of this couple. They talk about being thoughtful towards each other and respectful in that they can both pursue ‘bedly’ activities THEY EACH enjoy, but that annoyed the other when they shared.
They feel that they are GIVING, not taking in allowing the other to have their own room and own personal space.
I agree Arianne and Nate – the decision to sleep separately does have many giving elements to it.
You are giving each other the gifts of health, choice, respect, care, understanding, honesty, space, self-determination…… and most importantly sleep.
I’m still not prepared to put myself out there and say that separate sleeping will save your marriage (a tad hyperbolic for my rational mind), but you just never know……. it might be the decision that allows you to rest well and face any other issues that are challenging the relationship.
Check out Arianne and Nate’s story below.