What do you do in your bed?
Not such a simple question. Beds are more often than not a personal space, not just a place to sleep.
If you think back to your teens, I’ll bet there were times when you lay on your bed and thought about your latest crush, learned some lyrics from your latest favourite band or singer, read a book, wrote in your diary or read a secret letter?
For most people their bed is not just a utilitarian furniture installation keep only for sleeping. There is a degree of ‘haven’ to a bed, and I guess that’s why I value my own bed even more so because I am able to make it my haven and invite my husband in to share it when we want to. (And not let him in when I don’t)
I recently spoke to a friend who in the middle of our conversation excitedly blurted out “I’ve got something to tell you”. Talk about ominous! Talk about how MANY thoughts can race through my brain in two seconds!
Her revelation was that her husband and her had moved to separate rooms after 25 years of marriage.
Without too many details, she spoke mostly of the bliss of having her own space for the first time since she was a daughter living at home – about 30+ years ago. When telling me about the new domestic arrangements the tone of her voice lightened and her adjectives became excited and happy.
Knowing my thoughts on the subject, she was very excited to tell me about the move.
Knowing my thoughts on the subject, I was even more excited to hear her tell me about the move.
She was quite ‘chuffed’ to also report that they were fighting less, both feeling physically better and having more sex. She had noted that now she was more rested and less resentful, she was rediscovering parts of her relationship long lost. I couldn’t be more happy for her – she had ticked every box that I advocate is a good reason to sleep separately. She was a star pupil!
It’s not that I’m out there telling everyone to sleep apart, but I do enjoy hearing the tales of yet another person who has realised that getting sleep and, in this case, reclaiming some identity, can be positive and affirming.
I’m thinking of contact the local news stations. This is a story worthy of one of those 30 second feel good slots at the end of the news. You know the ones… a kitten being rescued from a tree, a community rallying to fix the garden of a pensioner, the ones that warm your heart.
“Couple realises that separate beds is not the end of the world, but possibly the beginning of a new phase of their life…..”
While I think I will struggle to convince the new stations that it’s worthy of air time, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and say “ahhhhhh”.